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I get what Jacob means about wanting to meet people in real life, but as a generally anxious person, I like that technology that allows me to avoid talking to other humans is readily available. As a gay guy, I feel like that choice has already been made for me. Straight people can choose whether to use Tinder or whether to live their lives knowing that they’ll eventually find the right person. Of course, the Straights™ might share some of my concerns: What if that day never comes and they never bump into that person? But how am I supposed to feel knowing that the odds of me meeting just any gay person are slim, much less the love of my life? I’m not exactly brimming with confidence. For me, the overwhelming pressure to use Tinder means that I don’t get to have the meet-cute experience. Tinder would make it easier to meet other gay guys, but it would make me miss out on what I think of as an essential part of young love.įor straight people, Tinder might be a convenient way to meet new people or arrange an easy hookup. But it’s also terrible, because it means I’m pretty unlikely to randomly meet the man of my dreams on the street. That’s a great part of being gay, because it connects me to a small community with shared experiences. Gay guys are really in short supply in this world. The “easy” way out is to get a Tinder, but in reality that’s the only way out. It makes me feel like I’m backed into a corner.
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The pressure to get a Tinder makes me feel like I can’t have a normal romantic experience. If I had a quarter for every time someone has told me to get a Tinder, I’d have enough for a ticket to the Lady Gaga concert where my future husband is waiting for me. I cannot imagine a better place to meet my future husband than a Lady Gaga concert.īut when I express frustration with boys or my love life, the easy and immediate answer is to just get a Tinder.
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I daydream about crushing on a guy for a few weeks, drunk texting him and then striking up a romance. I like the idea of running into the love of my life in a cafe.
![grinder gay definition grinder gay definition](https://live.staticflickr.com/159/345775989_bf15acc0f9_z.jpg)
For others (like me - Jacob), Tinder takes away some of the charm of meeting people organically. There aren’t that many gay people in the world, and we are used to running out of options pretty quickly.įor some, using Tinder is a nice way to meet more gay people without the stress of wondering whether they’re looking for the same thing. Straight people are always surrounded by other straight people, which means they have a lot of romantic options. Dare we say that Tinder is even more complicated for gay people? We dare. It makes it a lot easier to put yourself out there and meet new people, but it takes away the meet-cute charm of bumping into the love of your life at Starbucks. While there are some explicitly gay dating apps (although Grindr can only loosely be called a “dating” app), we also use Tinder and other Straight™ things.Ī lot of young people have a complicated relationship with Tinder, not just members of the LGBTQ community. Yo - years old, as in “45yo.One defining feature of the modern gay experience is using dating apps. see Wiktionary’s definition for “urophilia.” Ww4w - female couple looking for a woman. W4ww - woman looking for a female couple. Working boy/girl - someone who expects payment in return for sexual services. Vers - versatile a person who enjoys both giving and receiving anal sex. Top - the insertive partner during anal sex. Stud - a masculine or aggressive female lesbian or bisexual. Stats - statistics, as in height, weight, age, waist size, race, hair and eye color, preferred sexual positions (see top, bottom, vers), etc. Safe - safe sex practices, condom use, etc. S/m - sadomasochism sadism is the sexual (or non-sexual) enjoyment of inflicting pain or humiliation upon someone else masochism is the sexual (or non-sexual) enjoyment of receiving pain or humiliation. Pnp - party and play (use of alcohol and/or drugs before, during or after sex). Mwm (mbm) - married white or black man middle initial can be substituted according to race. Generous - if seeking generous, individual expects or hopes for payment in return for sexual services a generous person might exchange money for the company of another person for sexual services. Bttm - bottom the receptive partner during anal sex.Ĭlean - can refer to physical cleanliness, but more often implies being “clean” from drugs or STDs.ĭiscreet - respecting or maintaining respect, silence, modesty, privacy may refer to a closeted individual.